For most men, the only time they ever consider getting a ring is when it’s time to tie the knot. You don’t see a lot of men out at the jewelry store trying to find a ring to wear on a daily basis. Heck, most men don’t like any type of jewelry and would rather be caught dead then looking around for something shiny. I had a friend who once told me that the only thing more unattractive then the idea of wearing a ring is wearing a ring that you bought yourself. This means that when it comes to wedding rings, most men go kicking and screaming to find one for themselves. When they get to the shop, though, they realize that the ring market has changed thanks to new metals and designs such as palladium, titanium and tungsten rings.

If you ask any guy, the issue regarding rings is not so much about the idea of wearing one but instead about design. Growing up most guys had a bad experience with rings. I have a friend, not the same one as before but a different one (yes, all my guy friends seem to have issues with rings), who said that he got turned off to rings after he received on for his Bar Mitzvah when he turned 13. He said the ring was so ugly and so full of senseless bling, that he hated every moment he was forced to wear it. He felt like everyone was looking at him and his stupid ring. Because of that, he vowed to never wear a ring, unless it’s a wedding ring. He happened to get married last year, and dreaded the idea of having to wear a ring again. It wasn’t until he got to the shop and saw the new designs where he realized that his fears were baseless.

Men don’t want anything showy or “blingy” in their rings, they just want something to match their personality. This means finding something that is, in most cases, classy and industrial. While some like traditional gold and silver, other’s are really taking to the new metals like tungsten for their wedding rings because they love the look their look as much as the fact that they get to wear something that isn’t traditional. For those who are looking to liven the grooved black or silver rings, small diamonds or even coiled gold rope can be added to a design. Think of it as the new generation of men’s rings: only this time men actually want to wear them.

Author Kim Green loves the new look created with tungsten rings.

Here is something you might not have realized: men have a part in a wedding too. I know, it’s shocking. After months of doing whatever the bride wants, as well as whatever the bride’s family, brides friends, brides acquaintances and brides work friends want, the idea that the groom has anything to do with the actual wedding might seem a bit shocking. My friend told me once that he felt like all he was supposed to do is show up at the wedding, stand there, say I do, and get out of the way of the bride. He said that it took the bride years before she didn’t refer to it as her wedding and not their wedding.

The thing about a wedding, though, is that as much as we want to diminish the grooms place in the planning of the whole ceremony and reception, he is still in charge of picking out the most important part of the ceremony: the rings. And not just the women’s ring either, but also the men’s ring too. That’s right, mens wedding bands: the other wedding ring. While the women’s ring gets all the oooooo’s, most of the awww’s and a good amount of the attention, a men’s wedding ring is still a huge part of the ceremony. And while the women’s ring may have more bling to it, there are things to consider when getting a men’s wedding band too.

When it comes to a wedding band, most men like to take the less is more approach. This means that flashy diamonds and other precious stones are out, unless, you know, that’s your type of thing. What we’ve seen in recent years is an explosion in the use of different types of metals in the wedding ring business, especially for men. Men’s rings used to only be available in gold, silver, platinum and bronze. Now, you can find a wedding band in such metals as palladium, tungsten, and titanium. What many men like about these newer metals is that they look both classy and industrial giving off a personality all their own. You can even get gold, silver and even diamonds on the bands, which means that you don’t have to completely rule out tradition for a new look.

While wedding bands may play a small part in the overall scope of the wedding, when the reception is done and the presents have all been open, the rings are the most lasting symbol of your eternal bond together. It’s not just for the bride, or just for the groom, it’s for both of you.

Author Kim likes to make sure men get the same attention to their mens wedding bands.

There is a point in the preparation of any wedding where you want to throw your arms up in the air and just scream “That’s it, I’m done.” It’s the first time in the six or seven months leading up to the wedding where the idea of just running off to Vegas seems like anything but a joke. This is typically around the time where you’re debating whether to get a mustard sauce or a honey mustard sauce for your appetizers, and trying to decide whether a titanium ring will clash with cufflinks that the groomsman is going to wear. The thing is that this is an important moment in any wedding: this is the moment where you take a deep breath and realize that a wedding is for the bride and the groom and everyone else, no matter how much they want to input, can just butt out of the equation.

I didn’t mean for that last sentence to sound so mean, but having multiple people making decisions on a wedding day will only lead to a lot of drama and even more hurt feelings. Most wedding’s run into difficulties when advice is taken by other parties. How do I know this? Because I’ve gone through it. When I got married to my husband we were young and naïve and decided that we needed the help of our parents to plan our dream wedding. Well, after a few months, we realized that our dream wedding had turned into their dream wedding, with more issues arising from the fact that each parent had a different idea of what exactly a dream wedding should consist of.

There came a point where we found that we needed to make a decision: either take it over ourselves or just be miserable at our own wedding. It’s not that the ideas that our parents had were bad, it’s just that there were too many of them. We found ourselves having to combine all the ideas into a wedding that began to look increasingly unattractive to us. So with about four months to go until the wedding we decided to take back control and do our own wedding. We hurt a few egos and had to make some tough phone calls, but in the end we were able to put together a wedding that we wanted.

So when you hit that point where you feel like your wedding is skidding away from you, the best decision you can make is to take a step back and look at what you really want in your wedding and what others are making you do. It’s one of the smartest things you can do.

Kimberly Green loves the fact her husband chose one of the new titanium rings for their wedding.

Poor guys.

As a woman, we have a very broad palate to work with when it comes to jewelry. Call if a larger margin for error. We can wear stuff that sparkles, shines, dangles and jangles. Mens jewelry, on the other hand, has to be soft, sensible and walk a thin line between what is cool and what is overkill. While a woman can wear something that’s bold and it can come off as daring and a reflection of a rebellious attitude (in a good way), there is nothing less sexy on a man than jewelry that is too in your face. Heck, the difference between one gold chain and two could be the difference between marriage and not getting a second date.

But before you go feeling all bad for your man consider something else: the good thing about men’s jewelry is that it’s, well, simple. Think about it: for women picking which earrings to wear with which outfit isn’t so much a choice as it is a production. When men ask why it takes women so long to get dressed I laugh because it’s not the dressing that takes so long, it’s picking the right types of accessories. Heck, for a man a piece of jewelry is a ring or a simple necklace that can be worn with any outfit from a suit to a running outfit. They don’t even need to deal with a jewelry box, they just keep it in a dresser or in some plate that contains gun wrappers and spare buttons.

I once asked a guy what type of jewelry his wife likes. His answer took about twenty minutes as he knew every single little intricacy that she likes in her rings, necklaces and earrings. Then I asked him another question: what type of jewelry does he like for himself. After a second he answered a two part answer: A) I don’t know and B) To be honest I don’t really like jewelry. You see, for men a piece of jewelry is more of a commemoration than fashion. They wear a ring to show they are married or a necklace that symbolizes someone special in their life. Other than that, most guys don’t even like jewelry. The men who like jewelry like to be flashy so they aren’t going to worry that much about subtlety and that thin line that they are supposed to balance on. So next time you feel bad that you never buy jewelry for your man, don’t. He probably would rather you spend the money on a sporting event or outdoor toy.

Author Kim Green feels that mens jewelry is just as beautiful as womens.

If we are to believe movies and television, us girls want the rock and we want it big. Yes, give us that ring, and make it big or take a hike. As Beyonce says: Put a ring on it. As a guy I’m sure you’ve seen it in television or in movies, the scene where the guy pulls out one of those palladium engagement rings or benchmark wedding bands, and the girl goes “Oh my god, I thought it would be bigger” and then storms out of the restaurant. Yeah, of course you have. She’s typically a villain in a romantic comedy, and sadly that type of character drives most men to believe that we only want one thing.

Of course, there are women like that. Just like there are men who care more about their abs then their kids. But most women out there care about the act way more than the actual ring. Sure, we might have our moments, but for me the best part of getting married was actually, shock, getting married. I frankly didn’t need the ring, I just needed the act. This might put me at a minority, but there are probably a lot more women like me then you might think.

I think part of the problem is that men confuse our personal likes and dislikes in a ring with our love for the act. Let me explain: if I bought my husband a car, but I bought him a car he didn’t particularly like, he would be happy that I surprised him with a car but still a bit disappointed that I didn’t buy him one that he likes. As a woman, we have likes and dislikes in what kind of jewelry we like. If I hate diamonds and I guy gets me an engagement ring with diamonds, am I going to love what it symbolizes? Of course. But am I going to be a bit disappointed that I have to wear a ring I hate the look of? Well, kinda, yeah. But, will I tell him this and ruin his special moment. Hell no. That’s where I differ, I guess. If I know he bought it with loving intensions then that’s usually better then my favorite ring in the entire world.

A note to guys, though: typically you know what your girlfriend likes and dislikes, so if you’re going to pop the question then get her a ring that you know she will like. It’s not that hard, if you know enough about her to wed her I’m sure you know enough to buy her a ring she really likes. Oh, and if she storms out of the building if you got her the wrong ring? Well, she’s not right for you anyway. You dodged a bullet there.

Author Kimberly Green feels that you should get benchmark wedding bands if you know that’s what you’re significant other wants.